Thursday, November 1, 2007


So i have determined that god has been hazing me for some reason lately. I have so much homework to do and i still haven't gotten the results of my blood tests yet and i would like to because i would love to know why i feel like $h!t constantly no matter how much i rest i get or how much I eat or drink. My dad is on the verge of losing his job which possibly means us moving to Toledo and i don't want to move to Toledo. So then i get a phone call from my mom this morning at 7:26am and i look at the clock from my bed and im like WTF. so i lay there and let it go and she doesn't leave me a voicemail and so i get curious. I get up and use the bathroom, take out my retainer, and pick up my cell and call her back. She answers and i go whats up mom and she says are you sitting down. WOW I JUST LOVE THOSE PHONE CALLS! >:\ so after my heart stopped for like a minute i was like ok im sitting. she goes on to tell me about how my dog candy (who i had since i was 10 years old) got hit by a car and was killed last night. Im thinking to myself can things seriously get any worse. My brother was a wreck and didn't want to go to school i could tell my mom had probably been crying all night. My father i guess hadn't said a word and just wanted to be left alone and he has his court case against the police department tonight and i just felt so bad because i am so close to a breakdown right now that i sounded and felt like i didn't really care. i mean i really do and im sure when i go home and she is not there i will break down but im so dead right now i can't stand it. Im really looking forward to class today and im hoping that max julian will put on a wonderful performance because i need something to cheer me up for god sakes. so if you guys see me you know flash a smile, say hey, or just ask me how things are going because i really just need people to give me some positive support right now.

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